By Donna Dunning

I am looking at assumptions and expectations that people bring to their relationships.

The Thomas-Kilmann model defines the accommodating mode as an individual’s willingness to meet others’ needs while not expressing their own needs.

Perhaps people who prefer Feeling naturally accommodate others and expect others to be accommodating in return.

Perhaps they are surprised when they make an effort to meet another’s needs and then find the other person doesn’t reciprocate.

Add this to a preference to Introversion (see last week’s post on avoiding conflict) and a situation may occur in which an INFP, ISFP, ISFJ, or INFJ may not assert their needs, yet may become discouraged or disappointed when others do not automatically step in to accommodate them.

Is this your experience?

Maybe those who prefer Introversion and Feeling can learn to speak up more and assert that their needs must be met (which is out of preference) or maybe others, with alternative preferences, could be more sensitive to and aware of the existence of unspoken needs (which is also out of preference).

How have you dealt with these differences?