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An Introverted Way of Being Known

An Introverted Way of Being Known

By Donna Dunning

Donna DunningIt is interesting to observe how people connect. I believe some level of human connection is a basic need for all people regardless of personality type preferences. However, I think the way we go about becoming connected and maintaining connections is influenced by our natural preferences.

I will use a person I know well, who has ISTJ preferences, as an example. He has a few close friends who he sees, one or two at a time, once in a while. He will generally avoid any kind of large social gathering unless he feels obligated to attend (even then he may choose not to go or only go for a short period of time).

That being said, he is an active contributor to his online gaming community, making regular posts, creating training videos, and working within groups to help others learn and master the games he plays. In the world outside of computer games, he is happy to help people fix their computer problems when they ask. He is polite, kind, and personable.

Too often we stereotype people who prefer Introversion as antisocial, shy, or withdrawn, labels that don’t help us understand the various ways that people choose to interact with the people in their world.

Rather than labelling those who prefer Introversion as anti-social, think instead about how they do prefer to connect. Maybe it is through actions, written words, or images rather than conversations? Perhaps their efforts are behind the scenes or easily overlooked?

If you have the time, please share your story of how the people in your world who prefer Introversion connect with you. These examples can help us dispel myths and recognize how everyone contributes and connects to others in their own way.


For more thoughts on communicating well, read Introduction to Type and Communication.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 5th, 2015 at 11:08 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “An Introverted Way of Being Known”

  1. Donna, this is a great post! I prefer Introversion (INFJ) and have a couple of male coworkers/friends who I assume do as well, though I don’t think they’ve taken the MBTI(R) assessment. I engage in a lot of email with one of these friends who I’ve known for several years. We both enjoy communicating through emoticons and photos – my own, in my case, or in his case ones he finds online. He also subscribes to NASA’s photo of the day and other interesting things which he forwards to me. Like your friend he is also very generous in helping people with computer problems and did a major upgrade a couple of years ago on my old computer, which I eventually sold to him. Recently while working from home my new computer had to go in the shop, which prevented me from working or earning money. He came up with the idea of loaning me my old computer so I would be able to work until I could get my new one back. (Great idea but unfortunately the old computer didn’t work at my place!)

    Another coworker recently discovered my car smoking one day when we arrived at work and took charge of the situation, giving me information on what to do, referring me to a good repair shop, offering me rides, etc. This was someone I had only known a few weeks.

    Yes, it is really a mistake to assume that those who prefer Introversion don’t have our own ways of reaching out and showing kindness. As someone who also prefers Introversion, I enjoy emailing friends as well as sending them cards and letters. I also participate as time allows in Facebook and am active in attending free and sometimes not so free community concerts and other events, am a member of a church and generally involved in a lot of different things. The friend who helped with my car did not believe I could have a preference for Introversion, probably because he has bought into the stereotypes or doesn’t know what Introversion actually is. I’m sure he’s not alone in that! Thanks again for a great post and a great cat photo as well!

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