Personality Type and Interactions

What do you think (or how do you feel) about these quotes?

Logic is the anatomy of thought. – Albert Einstein

Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

As I study and teach personality type concepts I notice the differences in how individuals hear, speak, and interpret information. I think words have different connotations for everyone, and type preferences are only one part of the story. Even so, there are some word interpretations that seem linked to personality type preferences.

One pair of words that tends to be interpreted in different ways by people with different personality preferences is think/feel.

T/F

These words are already tangled and confused because Thinking, in type language, refers to a preference for using logic and objectivity when evaluating information. Feeling, in type language, refers to a preference for using a more personal, subjective approach when evaluating information.

The specific personality type definitions of the words Thinking and Feeling are described in more detail in my What’s your preference, Thinking or Feeling post.

Of course, the word “feeling” is also linked to many other concepts, including a range of emotional and personal aspects of a situation. The word “thinking” also carries lots of connotation about using our mental faculties in various ways and contexts.

Context

I have had more than a few people with a personality type preference for Thinking tell me they get a bit thrown off track or even annoyed when asked, in a work context, “How do you feel about that?” They would find it much easier to respond to the question, “What do you think about that?” They usually are working in their logical mode on the job and are not prepared to evaluate the situation in a more personal or subjective way.

In a similar manner, people who have a Feeling personality type preference can find the question, “What do you think about that?” rather off-putting, challenging, or impersonal.

Of course, to categorize a word or phrase as more appealing than any other to one person is a simplification. Nevertheless, when communicating I try to be aware of these nuances of language and make my best effort to communicate with people in the way they prefer to hear.

?

What do you think about that? Or should I say how do you feel about that?

If you are looking for ideas on how to communicate more effectively, Introduction to Type and Communication helps you understand communication preferences. If you live in the USA, Introduction to Type and Communication is now available on Kindle.

Thinking Personality Type Preferences

Thank goodness you are not perfect. Imagine if you were perfect, nothing about you could be improved. You would rarely try something new or take a risk because you would be unsure of the outcome. The pressure to maintain perfection would be enormous.

We all need to try new things and be subject area novices if we want to learn and grow. As Ms. Frizzle, the teacher from the Magic School Bus children’s book series says, we should – “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.”

In order to learn from our actions it is helpful to have corrective (and affirming) feedback. Personality type preferences can affect the kind and amount of feedback that best helps you learn.

Warm Fuzzies

I remember teaching learning-skills to a group of Computer Information Systems students. Several of these students had a preference for Thinking.

As a Feeling type myself, when teaching, I tend to provide positive comments on student’s papers to encourage my learners. So, if a student described time management strategies that worked for them I would write a “warm fuzzy” such as “That’s a great idea,” or “I can see you have given this some thought.”

Lessons for the Teacher

After class one student, who had Thinking preferences, came up to discuss his paper. Basically, he said that he wanted me to stop marking up his paper with comments and that he needed to know exactly what to do to get a better mark. This was not a struggling student. His mark was in the high 80s but he needed feedback on what he was doing incorrectly and where he was losing marks.

This was a learning experience for me. I had never really considered that someone would not want encouragement and positive feedback. This experience also helped me understand the importance of direct, clear, corrective feedback for learning. For the next assignment I created a structured scoring sheet with clear criteria and marking procedures, a practice I continue to use many years later.

I still provide encouragement and positive comments, since I know this is important to many learners. I suppose I would rather err on the side of giving more than someone wants rather than not meeting his or her needs.

We Need to Know

We all need to know when we are on the right track and what we are doing wrong. Our personality type preferences help us understand how we want this feedback to be given.

What kind of feedback helps you learn the best? Once you understand this you can seek out learning opportunities that match the way you learn.

If you would like more information on personality type and learning, check out my booklet, Introduction to Type and Learning in print or pdf format. For more information on preferences for Thinking and Feeling, take a look at my What’s Your Preference- Thinking or Feeling post.

In my MBTI® Certification workshops participants respond to the instruction -“Describe your type using words, phrases, or pictures.” I find these visual representations of type preferences help illustrate individual differences.

Here is a photo of a response from an INFP group. They share what people like about them and also describe how misunderstandings may arise between themselves and others.

The “we break ties” comment is related to content from the MBTI ® tool training program on how to administer the self-score version of the instrument.

I find the statement “We are small,” interesting. I don’t remember the group’s explanation at the time for the comment, but I believe it refers to the quiet, non-demanding, unobtrusive, approach often used by those who prefer INFP.

This is the sixth INFP poster in the Illustrations of Type series. You may also want to look at the other INFP illustrations:

First INFP illustration

Second INFP illustration

Third INFP illustration

Fourth INFP illustration

Fifth INFP illustration

What’s Your Type?

Learn about your personal approach on our What’s Your Type? page where we’ll introduce you to personality type and the 8 Ways of Working.

Introduction to Type and Communication describes in detail how personality preferences influence communications. If you live in the USA, Introduction to Type and Communication is now available on Kindle.

Personality Type and Interactions

There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness. – Gelett Burgess

What does this quote mean to you?

As I study and teach personality type concepts I notice the differences in how individuals hear, speak, and interpret information. I think words have different connotations for everyone, and type preferences are only one part of the story. Even so, there are some word interpretations that seem linked to personality type preferences.

P

One pair of words that tends to be interpreted in different ways by people with different personality preferences is work/play. When talking with a person who has Perceiving preferences, I may hear them linking and integrating work and play. They may see their work as play or comment that they often play at work. Play is seen as a productive activity. When communicating at work, they may tend to use the word “play”, such as “Let’s play with this idea,” or “Let’s play with this problem.”

J

People who prefer Judging often tell me they place work and play in separate categories. They clearly define and differentiate work from play. They would rather hear language presented as “Working with an idea,” or “Working on a problem.” The word play just doesn’t seem to resonate with them or accurately describe what they see themselves doing, especially if they are on the job.

Of course, to categorize a word or phrase as more appealing than any other to one person is a simplification. Nevertheless, when communicating I try to be aware of these nuances of language and make my best effort to communicate with people in the way they prefer to hear.

?

How do you interpret the words work and play? Do you see them as distinct categories or activities, and can these categories and activities merge?

If you are looking for ideas on how to communicate more effectively, Introduction to Type and Communication helps you understand communication preferences. If you live in the USA, Introduction to Type and Communication is now available on Kindle.

Sensing and Intuitive Personality Type Preferences

Many years ago I taught biology at a community college. One of the courses, an overview of human biology, surveyed the different systems in the body, such as the nervous system, digestive system, respiratory system, circulatory system, etc. The information in this course was more conceptual than detailed.

Many of my students had recently completed a course on taxonomy, which required extensive memory work to name and categorize living things. They likely had to answer questions like this: For seven marks, name the Kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, and species of an earthworm.

Most of the students who excelled in the taxonomy course liked to learn facts. They enjoyed a step-by-step approach to learning and found it easy to organize and memorize concrete data. However, some of these students stumbled when the course I taught required them to overview and integrate more abstract information.

For example, they were less comfortable answering essay questions describing interactions between the respiration and circulation systems. Other students struggled with the memorization and naming course and found it much easier to see broad conceptual connections and links. They performed better when asked integrative, essay type questions.

My challenge was to make sure all learners could master the material.

Learning both Facts and Concepts

I explained to students that it was essential to be able to learn both facts and conceptual links. I encouraged the students who liked to memorize (usually Sensing types) to organize and categorize facts into broader categories and to sequentially link information together. They could then generalize from the data.

I encouraged the more conceptual learners (usually Intuitive types) to develop memorization strategies to help them recall specific facts and details. In this way, they could add more detail to their abstract overviews.

Do you like to learn the facts about information first, or would you rather overview a topic before getting the facts? Do you like step-by-step learning or are you more likely to jump around between ideas? Does your learning environment align to your personality type preferences? Answering these questions will help you figure out how to best learn both facts and concepts.

If you would like more information on personality type and learning, check out my booklet, Introduction to Type and Learning in print or pdf format.

In my MBTI® Certification workshops participants respond to the instruction -“Describe your type using words, phrases, or pictures.” I find these visual representations of type preferences help illustrate individual differences.

Here is a photo of a response from an ENTJ group. The descriptors are clearly written in an orderly manner. In this exercise it is usually the ENTJ and ESTJ groups (Expeditors) who are done first as they tend to quickly put down the key information about their type preferences. This group includes in their description negative perceptions by others as well as positive aspects of their preferences. This is common for groups with a dominant function of Extraverted Thinking (Te).

This is the third ENTJ poster in the Illustrations of Type series. You may also want to look at the first ENTJ illustration and the second ENTJ illustration.

What’s Your Type?

Learn about your personal approach on our What’s Your Type? page where we’ll introduce you to personality type and the 8 Ways of Working. Introduction to Type and Communication describes in detail how personality preferences influence communications. If you live in the USA, Introduction to Type and Communication is now available on Kindle.

Can personality type help you find an ideal partner?

Lately I am seeing many discussions on the importance of finding the “right type” to love and marry. The idea behind these “ideal” matches is that people with certain personality type preferences are naturally more compatible than other combinations. Although I believe it is useful to know and accommodate personality preferences in our various life relationships, I become worried with these prescriptive approaches to interactions.

My three main concerns are:

• People are so much more than their personality preferences. They grew up in a family, community, and culture. They have interests, values, skills, knowledge, habits, attitudes, and lifestyles. They have approaches to money management, working, playing, learning, and living that are associated with much more than their personality type preferences. To look for the “right type” is just way too simplified.

• When people already in a relationship find they are listed as “incompatible” they may take this advice to heart and consciously (or unconsciously) sabotage the relationship. We all have heard of the power of belief and of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Think your relationship won’t work? Then it likely won’t. I don’t like to think people will give up on a relationship because they believe they found the “wrong type” and the relationship is doomed to fail.

• On a similar note, it becomes too easy to use “personality type” as a scapegoat to avoid working on issues. This gives people permission to just blame your natural incompatibility and move on. When the going gets tough, you have a great excuse to get out of the relationship.

I believe there is no magic personality type combination for a perfect relationship. No matter how “matched” your personal preferences may be, there will be tough times and stresses in any relationship. Successful long-term relationships require effort, compromise, and dedication. So rather than looking for the “right type”, find the right person who accepts who you are and is willing to commit to the relationship. Then do the same for them as you journey through your lives together.

If you are looking for ideas on how to communicate more effectively, Introduction to Type and Communication helps you understand communication preferences. If you live in the USA, Introduction to Type and Communication is now available on Kindle.

Introverted and Extraverted Personality Type Preferences

Everyone has experienced that painful training session or classroom that doesn’t suit his or her preferred way of learning. Although there certainly are good and bad teachers, in many cases, an unpleasant learning experience can be the result of a mismatch between learning and teaching style.

I learned a lot about personality preferences and learning styles as my kids progressed through school. When my son (ISTJ preferences) was in his early learning years I attended a parent-teacher conference. As the teacher voiced her concerns I began to hear Extraversion/Introversion learning differences.

Breadth not Depth

The teacher commented that when given a number of learning stations to explore and experience, my son tended to go to one station and stay there. I asked the teacher if it was important for students to move between stations and if staying at one station was a problem for her. She looked surprised and said there were no rules that students should move, but she expected students would want to explore all of the areas.

I knew my son would prefer to stay with one activity and experience it in-depth before moving on, so I mentioned to the teacher that if the behavior wasn’t against the rules, then it certainly wasn’t a problem for my son or me. I told her that he might want to move onto other stations when he was done with the one that held his attention. If she wanted him to experience all stations, she could certainly tell him that he was expected to move.

Having Lots of Friends

Next, she was concerned that my son had only one friend in class. Although he was polite and not offensive to anyone, he tended to interact with only one friend and was not highly sociable. My response? Is this a problem? Is there an expectation of a certain level of social interaction in the classroom? It was OK for me that he had a friend and tended to spend time with him.

I have empathy and respect for my kids’ teachers. Obviously this teacher had expectations about how young learners should spend their time and energy. However, the behaviors she was concerned about seemed quite comfortable and normal behaviors for a young child with my son’s preferences. I hope she learned to see and respect how he preferred to learn.

I’m sure it is not fun when your student’s parent is an educational psychologist.

If you have an ISTJ student, or have these preferences, here is more information on typical ISTJ learning preferences.

If you would like more information on personality type and learning, check out my booklet,
Introduction to Type and Learning in print or pdf format.

In my MBTI® Certification workshops participants respond to the instruction -“Describe your type using words, phrases, or pictures.” I find these visual representations of type preferences help illustrate individual differences.

Here is a photo of a response from an INFJ group.

Abstraction, metaphor, and a charming sense of humor are all at work here. I think this poster is a wonderful example of the dominant function of Introverted Intuition (Ni).

This is the fifth INFJ poster in the Illustrations of Type series.

You may also want to look at the first INFJ illustration, second INFJ illustration, third INFJ illustration, and fourth INFJ/INTJ illustration.

What’s Your Type?

Learn about your personal approach on our What’s Your Type? page where we’ll introduce you to personality type and the 8 Ways of Working.

Introduction to Type and Communication describes in detail how personality preferences influence communications.

If you live in the USA, Introduction to Type and Communication is now available on Kindle.

This is the ninth post in a nine part series describing typical stress response patterns linked to personality type preferences.

The information in these posts shows you how to assess your stress levels, identify your stressors, and build resilience to stress. When you understand your stress response you can learn to note the first signs of stress, implement changes to build resilience, and avoid the unpleasant experience of stress taking over.

For more information read the series introductory post Personality Type and Building Resilience to Stress.

First signs of stress for Enhancers:

• Becoming overly sensitive to feedback
• Reacting more personally to what others say and do
• Feeling the weight of others’ needs and demands

When stress takes over:

• Begin to judge yourself and others as incompetent
• Harshly criticize self and others
• Take hasty action in attempt to control the situation

Common stressors:

• Conforming to unacceptable values or procedures
• Interacting with people who are overly impersonal, critical or demanding
• Rigid structures, routines, or deadlines

Deal with stress by:

• Moving outside of the stressful situation to regroup
• Engaging in pleasant, self-care activities
• Renewing and refocusing on personal needs and values
• Sharing your experiences with caring people you trust

The material in this series has been adapted from In the Grip by Naomi Quenk. This is a useful booklet for anyone who wants to understand his or her stress response in more detail.

The photos accompanying this series are “signs of stress”, everyday cautions and warnings we see in the world around us.

Not sure of your personality type preferences? Visit the 8 Ways of Working page.

Do you have preferences for ISFP or INFP and want more information about your type? Check out the Enhancer tag.