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Missed Opportunities

Missed Opportunities

By Donna Dunning

Personality Type and Interactions

I wish I had said…

People with a preference for Introversion like to have time to reflect before responding. However, sometimes conversations move quickly and decisions are made immediately.

In these situations Introverts may miss opportunities to add their data and thoughts to the subject.

If you have a preference for Introversion, here are some tips to ensure your valuable contributions are not ignored.

Make your preference for more time known

A simple statement like “Let me think about that” or “I’ll get back to you,” can remove immediate pressure for a response and buy you the time you need to think about a topic or decision.

Let people know you will not decide right away and, when people want you to offer input, ask for information ahead of time.

Revisit topics

Don’t let the flow of conversation drown your input.

When the conversation moves on to a new topic, you may hesitate to add your thoughts from a previous topic. Unless an irreversible decision has been made, it is usually quite appropriate to say something like, “Going back to what we were discussing before…

Jump in

Become aware of conversational ebbs and flows. In some situations, if you are hoping for a lull before adding your thoughts, you may wait a very long time.

People who prefer Extraversion often leave very little silent space before responding. If there is a key point you want to add, think about it carefully and then take a leap into the conversation. This may feel awkward, but will get your input out there.

You may need to give a cue that you want to jump in by changing your body language or gesturing to show you have a comment to offer.

In a Perfect World

Of course, in a perfect world, those who prefer Extraversion will learn to pause and wait for your opinions or ask you for your input. However, sometimes people are not aware of these personality type preferences or they may get so highly engaged in a conversation that they forget to accommodate other’s needs.

If you have a preference for Introversion, what other strategies do you use to make sure your views are heard?

If you have a preference for Extraversion, how do you ensure that you are not “taking over” a conversation?

If you are looking for ideas on how to communicate more effectively, Introduction to Type and Communication helps you understand communication preferences.

If you live in the USA, Introduction to Type and Communication is now available on Kindle.

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This entry was posted on Friday, March 2nd, 2012 at 10:03 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Missed Opportunities”

  1. Kurt Cagle says:

    As an INTP, being able to do “surface flow” conversations is difficult for me, especially when decisions have to be made. I speak with lots of pauses in my conversation, usually after placing a “proxy” statement that indicates I want into the conversation but need to think a bit about it. “I think … that while the idea has merit, there are some issues that need to be addressed. … First, …”. By keeping the cadence slow and measured, it both gives me an opportunity to think before I speak, and also serves to clearly accentuate the topics I’m presenting.

    Email also works well in that regard. If there are aspects to a conversation that need to be more readily explored, I’ll often say ” … let me think on that, and I’ll send you my comments in an email.” It’s not uncommon for a quick conversation to end up generating three or four pages worth of email in response, because this is a medium where I can arrange my thoughts, edit, and review before sending.

    In my experience, extroverts don’t necessarily read these – attention of a mayfly at times – but, and here’s the important thing, by having put the time into the analysis, I am usually then in a much better position to argue the strengths and weaknesses of a given approach verbally, and will quite frequently come across problem areas or potential solutions that probably wouldn’t have been found through a glib surface conversation.

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