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INFJ: To communicate with me

INFJ: To communicate with me

By Donna Dunning

Donna DunningIn my personality type based communication workshops I sometimes have participants complete this thought –“To communicate most effectively with me, please…” This exercise helps participants express their personal communication style and preferences.

I can’t take credit for this exercise. It is modified from one created by Jean Kummerow.

Here is a photo of a response from an individual with INFJ preferences.

This person is interested in the big picture rather than facts and wants to be sure people are being considered. A result, for the communication, is important. People with preferences for S, T, or P may not naturally think about meeting all of these communication criteria.

It is interesting to notice that people who prefer Extraversion often mention they want others to listen while they talk, while those who prefer Introversion often want others to ask for their opinion.

There is a saying in the type community, “If you want to know what an Extravert is thinking, listen. If you want to know what an Introvert is thinking, ask.” (I don’t know where this comes from, if someone does please help me with the reference).

You can find more information on type interactions in my Introduction to Type and Communication booklet.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 25th, 2015 at 8:13 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “INFJ: To communicate with me”

  1. Kevin Payne says:

    Hi Donna,

    Love your blog! (And your books, I own most of them!)

    While I’m not sure what the source of the quote is, it is supposedly by Isabel Briggs Myers and it is posted all over For example:

    I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing by elaborating on what this exercise entails? I am a supervisor and certified practitioner, and I would like to try this with my team.



  2. Donna Dunning says:

    Thanks Kevin,

    Yes, the quote about listening to understand what someone who prefers E thinks/feels and asking to find out what someone who prefers I thinks is a great one by Isabel Briggs Myers.

    For the exercise in this post I simply give each individual a large sticky post-it note and ask them to complete the following thought: “To communicate most effectively with me, please…” As I mention, I can’t take credit for the exercise, as the idea came from Jean Kummerow. Depending on time and numbers in the group, I either get people to share their posts individually, bring them into a group of similar types to discuss their thoughts and then share, or post them on the wall and refer to the stickies throughout the day. Many of the comments they write are type preference related, although, of course, some are common courtesies or more general effective communication practices. It is a great way to get people engaged and sharing.

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