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Communicating With INFJs

Communicating With INFJs

By Paul Dunning

Over the years we have accumulated a large amount of data here on our web site about each of the sixteen types.

This series of articles summarizes responses by communication workshop participants previously posted in To Communicate With Me and Communication Highlights.

In each personality type summary we highlight themes and then rank those themes by organizing them from most to least common responses.

The bulleted points are statements on each of the 6 themes identified from INFJ responses.

A person who prefers INFJ wants you to:


• Ask what I think. Be inclusive

• Listen to my side of the story (as I would with you)

• (Be) a good listener

• Listen to me as I attempt to articulate (as I may do so utilizing analogies, metaphors, etc.)

• Listen carefully to my insights

• Reserve judgment: hear my side

Focus on the Big Picture

• Explain the big picture

• Don’t give me too much detail, get to the point

• Give me the scope of the idea, plan, project

• Tell me your objectives/goals

• (Realize I’m) not that interested in facts/details

Leave Time for them to Reflect

• Give me time to assimilate

• Allow time for me to process the situation/question

• Let me “spin out” whatever ideas come to mind using your “start” as the touchstone/benchmark

• Don’t put me on the spot

Offer Support

• Be approachable

• Be positive

• Be supportive

• Be respectful

Show you Understand

• Leave me feeling understood

• Understand what matters and why it matters

• Recognize my values & contributions

Consider How People are Affected

• What is the impact on people?

• Show me how you’ve considered the impact on others and values of others

What Does This Tell Us?

A person with INFJ preferences wants to be heard. They want you to communicate the concept and give them time to think about it. They also want to contribute to the conversation, knowing their input is valued and they are understood.

You can find more information on type interactions in Introduction to Type and Communication.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2016 at 10:03 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Communicating With INFJs”

  1. Thank you for writing this very accurate article about communicating with an INFJ. Understanding NF’s has been very valuable for me in my personal relationships and with my business associates. Being a heavy TJ, I used to run over NF’s and when I started really studying personality type in depth, I understood what I was doing wrong and how to improve my relationships with NF’s.

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